Keep working hard though you keep failing

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...=)

First and foremost...sblum aku kupas tjuk post nih, I would like to say sorry to MARO a.k.a Qamarul Iqmal [btol ke eja nih?]

Btw, 'aku' di cni refer to Hadhinah yer...*_*

Sbnrnye, die ade mntak tolong aku utk wat timetable sape yg kene update blog...awalnye, mmg aku smgat nk wat...tapi di saat2 akhir, atas sbb2 yg akan aku citer jap lg aku x jd buat...so, skrg x tau sape yg diamanahkan utk replace keje aku tuh...

Jadi Maro, ribuan kemaafan aku mntak drpd ko ek...maafkan aku...

So, skrg nk cter pasal this post...


"Keep working hard though you keep failing"

This is a lesson aku blaja pas byak sgt failure aku kene hadapi...mule2 tuh, Allah bg aku kegagalan dlm hal2 cm relationship...cth senang nk bg, the fact yg akhirnya I got a 2nd mom though aku x penah gagal doa biar bnd tu x jd kt aku...

Dan dlm byak2 kegagalan aku kene bear, aku noticed yg Allah x penah bg aku fail academically..how bad I performed mase IB dulu, in the end aku still succeed...aku passed MARA requirement and I got to get into the university to be a doctor, my childhood dream..

So, last2...all the pain I felt sbb bapak aku kawen 2 sume tu rase cm budak2 punye pain..yeke??? tipu!!! 

Skrg bile aku pk balek ye la, x sesakit dulu...tp dlu mase mule2 face bnd tuh, mmg derita...tu aku akui...bile aku dh bley get over bnd2 nih, though I still feel a bit bitter, aku rase cm aku jd lebih kuat...faham tak maksud aku?

Maksudnye, aku cm rase aku ni strong enough yg pasni kalu Allah bg aku ujian lagi I can bear sbb aku x rase ade bnd lagi sdey dari tuh...I believe that  the peak of my suffering, my sadness is when my dad married again...sbb seumo hdup aku, satu2 bnd aku btol2 x nak adlh bpak aku kawen lain...ngeeee~~~


Tapi...

We do decide what we want, we do work for it, we do think what we want about ourselves...

But in the end, it is Allah who knows what we need, whether we're going to get it or not and knows who we really are...

Simply because He's the Creator...btol tak???

I mean the last decision lies in His hand...not you, not me, no one...


only ALLAH...


Nak tau tak, pas satu talk about positive thinking, I used to think yg aku punye kelebihan adalah otak yg brilliant...of course lah kan aku pk cmtu...sbb dlm talk tu, they asked us [budk2 yg pi] utk pk satu kelebihan tntg diri kita...aku pk2, ak mmg x de bnd yg aku bagus sgt pown kecuali tu...good in studies...

Perasan??? Yes, mmg aku perasan..even the speaker asked to 'perasan'...dia kate x pe, it's to boost positive spirit dlm diri..mmg pown...I feel soooo positive afterwards...

Mase tu, aku masih a muslim only in MyKad...aku hanyalah Islam pada nama...aku x kenal Allah, aku x faham tujuan hdup nih...for me, Islam lies only in solat, zakat, puase tiap ramadhan...bnd2 tu je...

Aku mane tau tujuan kita diciptakan sbagai khalifah...[okey, tipu....tau sbbb blaja time tgktan 4 rasenye, tapi x faham cmne tuh] 2:30

Tapi yg ni btol, aku x tau kter diciptakan utk beribadah...51:56 T_T

That's why bile aku rase aku bagus in studies, aku x penah pown serahkan balik all praises to Allah..malangnye, aku x nampak Allah di sebalik nikmat otak yg cerdas nih...sedey kan???

I never realized this smpailah aku failed exam medical school..nk tau tak, aku ni jenis blaja rileks2 je...bosan blaja, aku tgok movie..atau bace komik ke...aku jenis yg x penah work hard utk blaja...smpailah aku masuk med school...aku noticed yg blaja medic requires hard work sbb byak sgt nk blaja pasal Allah's BEST creation nih..

Jadi, bermulalah kehidupan hadhinah yg rajin blaja...huhu...cm x seswai menyebutnye....0_0

Ironinya, spatutnya budak yg bile malas ttp skor cm aku nih, bile die work hard, mestilah lagi skor btol tak??? tu logiknya...that's how arrogant I can be...sbb aku x nampak Allah di sebalik sume nih...aku igt, dgn berubah mnjadi rajin, Allah x kan tarik balik nikmat otak cerdas yg Dia bg nih...in fact, aku x perasan pown otak ni rezki Allah utk aku...T_T

*malu...T_T*

Cm aku ckap td, at last aku fail..how shocking is that??? utk org yg x penah fail in studies...tmbah pulak, aku rase yg tu je aku bgus pown...mmg biggest blow kt aku punyer self-confident, self-esteem..aku rase x gune gler...

Tapi, setelah berbulan2 aku hibernate utk muhasabah, setelah berbuku2 aku bace, aku dpat put into perspectives tarbiyah Allah utk aku di sebalik bnd nih... antara bnd Allah nk didik aku adalah ape shj yg baik dan buruk tntg aku, ape shj yg best dan x best yg jd kt aku, sume tu dtg dari Allah...

Dan juga, jujur ckap aku rase nk give up je...ye r, cbe byangkan...seorg manusia yg x penah kene work hard tetibe work hard...then, in the end still fail..dh terdetik dh kt hati jahat aku nih, x nak keje keras dh...bukan dpt ape pown...sedey dpat la..

But you know, there is something precious I learn from this tragedy...selain sume dari Allah, Allah jgak nak aku keje keras...sentiase keje keras...jgn berhenti utk keje keras...ye r,utk aku pursue in med school, I can't stop working hard....

And most important is, this life does not end in Dunya....kter kene balik jmp Allah nnt...dan jalan menuju Allah, kalu nk rest in peace, you have to work hard...

Saidina Umar Al-Khattab pernah bertanya kepada Ka’ab bin Malik:“Wahai Ka’ab, apakah makna taqwa?” “Apakah kau pernah melalui satu jalan penuh dengan duri wahai Umar?”

“Ya,”

“Maka apakah yang kau lakukan?”

“Aku sinsing kain jubahku, dan berjalan dengan berhati-hati, agar jubahku tidak tercarik dek duri, dan kakiku tidak perpijak dengannya”

“Itulah taqwa”

credit to : http://www.melurhasanah.com/2012/08/erti-taqwa.html

From the story, korg nmpak tak??? Jalan menuju Allah tu tdak mudah...kter kene keje keras....kene mengelak duri2 yg sentiasa tggu nk lukakan kter..besides, Allah pown ade sbut dlm Al-Quran nk jmp Dia kene kerja keras...

[84:6]

"Wahai Manusia! Sesungguhnya kamu telah bekerja keras menuju Tuhanmu, maka kamu akan menemui-Nya"

Basically, from this ayah, kalu x keje keras, x jmp la kan??? Slagi kter rase our lives as muslims x susah, mksudnya kter x work hard enough...that's why Allah trains us with hardships and tribulations....sbb Dia dh tahu, jalan as a real muslim, as a mukmin, susah sgt2... 

So, sahabat2 sekalian....Rasulullah dan para sahabat shed tears and blood for Islam...kter shed ape for Islam??? I admit, I shed tears for my failure...how low is that???

So, nmpak tak???

In everything Allah bg, Allah tntukan...there's always something Allah nak kter blaja, kter amek pelajaran...faham??? cth cm kes aku, fail...try je r lagi...keep working hard...senang ckap, nk buat susah...btol...tapi we can always try, btol tak??? and the best part, kter ade Allah...ask Him to help us...ask Him to grant us with Jannah for our patience...

So, nk ckap kt cni...fokus to the afterlife...the current life hanyalah means to get to Allah...don't let it blind you on your journey towards Him...Sentiase fokus sbb mmg byak distractions Dunya nih..

Maka, habeslah sharing aku kali nih...till next time...inshaAllah...=)